Being alone doesn't mean loneliness...

Being alone also doesn't mean we are friend-less or unfriendly...

Being alone is actually the time when we have a peace of our own mind...

It also means that we can just relax and be our true-self…

But surprisingly...

A lot of people detest being alone…

Because they fear of being label as 'unfriendly...', 'stuck-up' and etc...

Well,

I enjoy being alone...

Because when I am alone...

I have the chance to think of what I want to do for the next few hours...

Or even sit at the corner and daydream...

But the funny thing is that...

I wasn't a quiet child to begin with...

In fact,

I was an extremely noisy young mitt...

When I was younger, mum had to silent me practically every minute of day...

But then... something drastic changed me entirely...

At the age of 13,

I lost one of my true friend to cancer...

She was literally a 'sunshine' to my life...

School was terrible, but she made it passable for me to get thru those horrible days…

The year when she die,

I lost all hope to be noisy…

I was taunted and pushed round yet my mouth was seal…

That was the big change in me…

My voice got softer..

And my personality overturned...

From a hyperactive child to a solemn teenager....

I bottled up whatever pain I have to endure and sob in my room…

I never knew how much death can change a person...

But it has certainly changed me!

And then...

All of sudden...

I wanted to be alone...

My friends see me alone as being lonely...

But I don't feel lonely at all...

Instead I feel peaceful...

Most people are surprised…

How I can tolerate silent?

And how did I managed to stay home alone?

Well,

I don't see why we need to make our life so crowded at all times...

I understand that some people must have others around them to feel belong...

And when there is no one with them...

They begin to worry that something is wrong with them...

Either they are unwanted/ forgotten/ they have done something wrong but no one wants to tell them the truth...

Sometimes...

I did wonder why I started to enjoy solitude..

And when I think back,

I found out that...

It’s because...

It gives me the sense of tranquillity.

It allows me to connect with my inner soul…

It gives me the privilege to have one-on-one conversation with God…

Because when we group with others...

We tend to cover up and be someone else...

It is just like wearing a mask that other people like to look at… 

While hiding our ugly faces behind it...

Sometimes...

Just by looking at someone else wearing masks make me feel so fake...

Much less to even use the mask and cover my own face...

Then it shows that...

We actually cannot be our true own self in front of people...

We need to hide our true colour in order to mingle with them...

In the end...

It is like…

Stuffing ourselves inside a baby crib when we are 10 times bigger than a 5-year-old child....

So,

I have decided that being alone is the best answer to being my true self…

I don't have to play pretend...

I don't have to act interested when my heart is totally out of it...

Because I know that no matter how good I act...

Someone will sense that I am truly uninterested...

Some people aren't fool no matter how you tried to play 'dumb'.

So the best is to move away...

And keep to yourself...

Learn that being alone is not loneliness...

It is also not unfriendliness...

But it is a privilege to be who we are and thoroughly enjoy our inner peace...

That's why I never complain when I am always alone...

Because I learn to enjoy my peace...

I learn to find my inner soul and 'communicate with it'.

And that's the real sense of being alone...