God’s plan…

Try it as you may…

You can never go against the law of God…

Fight as you wish…

You may or may not win depends on how it aligns to God’s plan for you…

Kick a fuss if you want…

If it is not yours… it’s NOT yours!

Oh, maybe… it’s not time yet?

I have been there and done that…

Or else I won’t be able to say as to this….

I have tried to run away from things I didn’t want to face…

I have spent few years avoiding it…

But in the end, the truth resurface…

It’s like, going round the circle and find yourself coming back to the same spot…

In short to say…

It’s more like time wasting in between…

Although it is more of a lesson learnt – not to avoid problems that should be faced!

It’s not the way I wanted it to be…

But it is the way God wants us to be…

It’s not my say nor your say…

But the Most Highest that says…

I have tried to win…

But after a few years,

Because no matter what happened…

I still go back to where I didn’t want to be…

In the end, I have to surrender…

God wins... in His plan...

My testimony: Dreamt of bible verses...

A lot of people don't like it when I mentioned about God...

But I do want to share how do I know it's Him and not anyone else...

People who read this might think I made it all up.

But if miracles had happened to you in the past,

You know the impossibility can always be possible!

I remember when I was 13,

A very dear friend of mine died of cancer...

After her passing,

I was fully remorsed over it and wouldn't want to sleep much that full year round...

My life - on the outside - looks good...

But on the inside,

It was a complete messed up!

I was in a full blown depression yet nobody knows about it...

They thought I was just deflating myself as a passage of adolescent...

But what they didn't know is that...

There is a the great sore inside my heart that kept pulling me down all the time...

And I just cannot lift it up anymore...

Then it came to the stage whereby,

I was completely insomniac.

And I begin to wonder when was the last time I had a proper full 8 hours sleep...

The last full 8 hours sleep was the final month before my friend's died...

Then it came an unforgettable night...

For some odd reasons,

I managed to get into a deep sleep...

There wasn't any changes within my surrounding or whatsoever...

The things in my room was the same as the past years...

But I had an unexpected knocked-out tho...

Then I had a dream...

In that dream,

I saw a bright golden light shining towards my face...

and then a thick book just opened itself up...

It's funny how a book can opened on its own but that's exactly how it looks like!

When I try to look closely into the wording,

The first word I saw was 'Ecclesiastes' on the heading...

When I tried to read those words on the content,

Words began to fly out of the pages....

Like Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Exodus 14:14, Psalms 46:10, Psalms 40:1-3, Isaiah 41:10, Deut. 31:8, Hosea 13;14 and etc...

These are verses that, later on I checked out were words of comfort from the Lord..

For those of you who read the bible,

You know that all those mentioned verses are from the Old Testament. 

I have no association with the Old Testament during my young Christianity life... 

Until many years later when I decided to study the bible at the age of 21...

So the whole idea of having all these bible verses thrown at me in dreams were really bizarre...

One cannot made up stuff when one doesn't even know such thing exist!

And so it is the same for me...

I don't even know such verses exist in life...

Therefore I am unable to produce such comforting words to myself when I was fully in depression!

It was until I woke up and constantly asking myself: 

"What does it mean?"

Then I saw my bible shining out of the bookcase next to my bed...

I got down from the bed...

Approached my bookcase...

And pulled out the bible and then...

A wind blow out of nowhere... 

(I remember checking the window and it was closed! So no wind from outside!)

And the pages just flipped on its own and landed exactly on Ecclesiastes book...

Then a bright highlight shone out from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8...

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

After I finish it,

The wind blow again to another verse….

And another verses and another and another till I got so dizzy with all the page flipping…

By miracle,

I was reading those verses in a completely dark room….

But there was light constantly shining on all the verses that required me to focus on…

And the most amazing part is that…

After I finish reading,

I felt my heart lifted up…

It was such an unusual occasion for me…

Because I have been so down for a long time…

And then suddenly,

I just feel so happy again – for no particular reason…

It was the crazies moment that I have ever felt in my life…

But that’s the truest I can speak about the miracle that God has performed on me…

That for the very first time I realised it was He that comforted me…

This is one of the first few miracles that God performed on me during my awareness.

There are many more that I will share at the later post…

So,

If you really want to read more on my other miracles…

Please feel free to check it out on my next few posts - coming soon…

Laugh and Be happy....

Do you want make the world brighter?

Smile...
Laugh...

I mean,
Seriously,
If you can find one thing to smile or laugh no matter how good or bad the day is...
You have broke the gloominess of the day...

Do you know that many people live in the world of sadness?
Because they have nothing to smile at?
Or they are constantly in trouble with their personal issue?

We all have that one part of irritation that makes us gloomy to the point that we cannot think of anything nice...

If I were to tell you my day,
You will not believe how depressing it can be...
But out of all the bad news that wrapped up the day...
I meditate good stuff...
To me,
A beautiful imagination is better than thousands of horrible reality that spoil our life...

Do you know what God wants us to do if we get into trouble?
I have just learn the secret...
Although I still need to practice upon it...

Smile...
Laugh...

People will think you are crazy...
Just let them be...
You can't change their thoughts...
But you can just change your mentality toward negativity...
You can make fun of yourself...

Why are you so serious when life is nothing but fun and laughter?

I wish I could have learnt this earlier...
Then things will be better and brighter....

Now that I have told you the secret...
I hope it will help you in many years to come...

If i tell you the number of times that I have been rejected...
The number of times I cry till my eyes sore...
Till my back break...
you wonder why I can still be here...

Because somewhere in the middle of all the depression...
There were times I smile for no reason...
There were times when I look at things positively...
There were times I got cheered up over minor things...

I prevent myself from oppressing even though I have every right to feel dejected...

Life isn't always fair...
Therefore we must do our best to make it fair for ourselves...

The only fair thing is to smile and laugh...

Don't believe me?
Go to the nursing home or the hospital...
Whereby people who are about to take their last breath...
Ask them,
"What do you wish you do more in the past?"

Most will say...
"Love more...
Forgive... Smile... Laugh... Be Happy...
Nothing matters..."

Journey with Christ....

…it’s very different from our usual ‘logical’ plan…

…it’s uniquely ours…

…it’s really challenging…

…it’s life-changing….

I think some of you will believe that we all have different agenda in life…

We have different path…

Some of us share the same journey all the way to the end…

But many of us share the same journey and then split in the middle…

Or, there are lots of people that we just meet at the crossroad…

But the journey with God is endless…

It doesn’t matter how many turns we take…

He is always there…

It doesn’t matter who we split up in the middle of the journey,

He is still there…

There are lots of humps in front of us…

Lots of potholes,

Lots of manic people around us…

Yet,

God is still there…

There are roads that may have been walked many times... 
That we can see thousands of footprints on it…
And there are paths that has never been discovered before…

And we wonder what is in store ahead…

It is such a nerve wrecking moment every time we walk on 'strange' paths

That we can literally hear ourselves praying all the way thru...
Pray that nothing will frighten us until we reach the end of the journey…

And then breathe with relief when we survive the cross…

Little did we know,

God has fought and tucked in thousands of beast that are ahead of us before we walk the path…

So that we can come out safe and sound…

God is our protector...

He has protected us from day one till the end…
He hasn't given up hope...
He is still fighting...
While we are crying (for help!)

But to be fair to us (and to Him),

We also need to face some challenges on our own accords…

So that we will learn to appreciate all He has done for us…

Because we, as humans, are very ungrateful when things come easy for us…

We greed more than we need…

We boast as if the world belongs to us…

When everyone else also have a fair share to it…

We think highly of ourselves…

But very little of others…

That’s why sometimes we must expect to face challenges…

The same challenge that God has been fighting for us when we were too weak to do it ourselves…
So that we will learn to say 'Thank you' to all the amazing work that He has done for us...

That’s why I summarised the journey with God as…

…different plan from our usual ‘logical’ timeline…

…uniquely ours…

…challenging…

…life-changing…

I wish I could share all my funny/ foolish stories about how God has turn my life around in circle...

But I have to say tho…

"Let’s keep it for the next few posts now…."

At least you know…

My journey with God is like discovering the world in a different perspective…

I mean – more than just your average two eyes can see…

It’s about believing, trusting and faithfully walking with Him…
It is more on the spiritually and emotional level than our physical body can ever reach...

Keep on loving…

Our life is supposed to be made of love…

But we are always on the ignorance side when it comes to love emotions.

Especially when we don’t get what we want,

We start throwing tantrums and grumbling like a spoilt child.

We lost our sense of gratitude and start hating people…

Love isn’t only for our spouse/ partners/ girlfriend/ boyfriend.

Love is for everyone – from our family members, friends, colleagues to strangers and ENEMIES!

But we purposefully only choose to love those who gives us what we want…

While completely cast out those who have nothing of our desire…

That’s how selfish we are as human being…

We think only of ourselves…

And no more than our circle of self-worth…

Anything beyond that is none of our concern…

That’s why the world is losing its compassionate love.

Everything is all about ‘Me, me, me, me, Me, ME!!!

We boost about who we are… but hardly a compliment towards others…

We show-off our materials… but never allowed others to lay a finger upon it…

If people doesn’t meet our expectation,

They are out of the league…

But when we got cast out, we plead to be taken back…

We have more self-love but only love a size of a pea for others…

Why?

Who taught us that?

What have become of us?

Friends,

Now I know why…

We love lesser than we are supposed to be…

Because we have been conquered by the devil…

Believe it or not…

We all have that moment when we have problem with people….

We want to fight, shout, scream, argue and etc…

That every onuce of anger inside us just wanted to be lashed out in split second…

You know that feeling when you lashed out – it just feel like you have achieved something grand…

But it actually hurt so much at the end of it…

I can’t tell you how many times I have been there and done that…

And every single time it happens,

I feel like the worst person on earth…

But thankfully,

I am glad to embed myself into meditation.

In my case,

My sort of meditation is to recite Christian bible verses…

It has do me lots of good than anything else…

And it is through that that I realized…

I have been controlled by the devil who is constantly trying to win me over all the time…

The devil has downplayed us by making us go insane with our behavior…

The devil has stir turmoil in our life and relationship…

The devil has caused us to fight and argue with our family even though it is avoidable...

The devil has won us over…

Is that what we want?

If not,

Let us stop it here…

Stop the devil from taking away our loved ones…

Stop him from destroying our life and relationship…

Stop him from scaring us and fearing us to death…

Don’t allow him to rule us…

Everytime someone throw hateful remarks at you,

Understand that it is not that person that hated you…

It is the devil that possess in their body that hates you…

So, please do not be fooled and make enemies with people…

Because none of us deserves enemies…

We all need more love than anything else…

So,

Just keep praying…

And don’t ever give up…

Just keep loving all over again and again….

Make the devil angry and he will eventually leave you alone…

“Be on your guard. Stand firm in faith. Be courageous. Be strong. Do everything in love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

The opened window...

Windows are like doors…

Except that it is smaller...

But if you persist...

You will go thru it no matter what!

Grab the opportunities and

Believe that the impossibility will turns into miracle...

Have you heard of this?

“When heaven closes all doors, there will be some windows left open...

If you preserve and persist, you will find the opened windows.”

This is just a random word that cycle in my mind...

There are so many things in life that are easy to fulfil...

But there are also some that are tedious to achieve...

Sometimes,

Just because you want something...

Doesn’t mean you can have it on an instant...

Other times...

You don’t even want it at all...

But it is already right in front of you!

How frustrating it is!

Just like everyone in this world...

I have my days too...

It can be awful to the point that I feel like raging...

In fact,

I, sometimes, wonder,

“Why me? Why is it like this? How can it be? Oh it’s so unfair!”

But I keep quiet...

There are million words mumbling in my hearts...

Hundreds of questions swirling inside me...

Multiple reactions and feelings that pained my soul...

And huge tears fall from my eyes...

But I continue to press on...

There are so many things in life that are impossible to me...

I want to achieve all my dreams to the peak...

But I fail some of them desperately...

I have to replace it with alternatives...

I want to love someone so much...

And wanted him to love me back as much - or even more than I do for him...

But none of this happens...

I cover it up by putting my career as top priority...

And pretend it doesn't really matters - when it actually does - a lot!

To me,

Those are the things that leave a great impact in my life...

It is something that I always wanted...

But it is so impossible to get...

I can go round the world and ask...

“Why? Why is it like this? Why is it like that?”

But I know for once that...

Nobody really knows the truth...

Other time,

Some will say, “It’s your own fault.”

And some will point out... “It is God’s plan for you.”

Others might charm in and say, “Too bad, that's how it turns out.”

As much as I don’t like to hear any of it...

I have to admit that...

I actually and indirectly agreed to what they said...

Thus,

Causing myself to depress.

I believe that the similar situations also happened to most of you...

Bad things come your way...

Good things fly away...

You thought that this will be your day...

Just like they always say...

Last time,

I used to believe everything what people say...

I was just so damn naive...

To me,

Whatever they say is always right...

Perhaps because;

I have no experience and confident in whatever I wanted to do...

So I believe that they are telling the truth...

But little did I know...

I fall into hundreds of pit holes...

Before I wake up and learn not to believe every single word anyone say!

Of course,

There are some people who are sincere...

But that depends on the person...

Now,

I am teaching myself to believe the impossibility...

Just because I cannot do achieve whatever I wanted to right now,

It doesn’t mean that it will stay that way for life...

No, we need to keep pressing on…

We must never ever give up in all account…

It takes a lot of patience and hard work to reach to where we wanted...

It may be days, or weeks, or months or years... or even a lifetime...

But we must not give up no matter who say what...

Because they don’t know you well enough to understand your dreams...

They only know what they want to know about you...

Once they got fed up of you,

They will conclude it as...

“Nah! It’s just impossible for you...”

“It’s God’s will that you have to stop achieving your dreams...”

“It’s your luck... your fate is not the way you want it to be...”

“It’s your own fault; you don’t know what to do in the first place.”

Me?

I just bow my head and say...

“Thank you very much…

I will work harder and find my own way out...

For I believe that people who work for it are those who benefit...

They are willing to struggle through it all and reap the reward...

“They don’t rely on excuses to make way for them...

They depend on their own determination to reach the top...

It doesn’t matter whether it is possible or not...

Because at the end of the day...

What seems impossible will be made possible.

Again, it is not the result that matters...

It is the passage that direct them to revelation”

That’s why I said...

“When heaven closes all doors, there will be some windows left open...

If you preserve and persist, you will find the opened windows…”

Have you found the opened window yet?