Being alone doesn't mean loneliness...

Being alone also doesn't mean we are friend-less or unfriendly...

Being alone is actually the time when we have a peace of our own mind...

It also means that we can just relax and be our true-self…

But surprisingly...

A lot of people detest being alone…

Because they fear of being label as 'unfriendly...', 'stuck-up' and etc...

Well,

I enjoy being alone...

Because when I am alone...

I have the chance to think of what I want to do for the next few hours...

Or even sit at the corner and daydream...

But the funny thing is that...

I wasn't a quiet child to begin with...

In fact,

I was an extremely noisy young mitt...

When I was younger, mum had to silent me practically every minute of day...

But then... something drastic changed me entirely...

At the age of 13,

I lost one of my true friend to cancer...

She was literally a 'sunshine' to my life...

School was terrible, but she made it passable for me to get thru those horrible days…

The year when she die,

I lost all hope to be noisy…

I was taunted and pushed round yet my mouth was seal…

That was the big change in me…

My voice got softer..

And my personality overturned...

From a hyperactive child to a solemn teenager....

I bottled up whatever pain I have to endure and sob in my room…

I never knew how much death can change a person...

But it has certainly changed me!

And then...

All of sudden...

I wanted to be alone...

My friends see me alone as being lonely...

But I don't feel lonely at all...

Instead I feel peaceful...

Most people are surprised…

How I can tolerate silent?

And how did I managed to stay home alone?

Well,

I don't see why we need to make our life so crowded at all times...

I understand that some people must have others around them to feel belong...

And when there is no one with them...

They begin to worry that something is wrong with them...

Either they are unwanted/ forgotten/ they have done something wrong but no one wants to tell them the truth...

Sometimes...

I did wonder why I started to enjoy solitude..

And when I think back,

I found out that...

It’s because...

It gives me the sense of tranquillity.

It allows me to connect with my inner soul…

It gives me the privilege to have one-on-one conversation with God…

Because when we group with others...

We tend to cover up and be someone else...

It is just like wearing a mask that other people like to look at… 

While hiding our ugly faces behind it...

Sometimes...

Just by looking at someone else wearing masks make me feel so fake...

Much less to even use the mask and cover my own face...

Then it shows that...

We actually cannot be our true own self in front of people...

We need to hide our true colour in order to mingle with them...

In the end...

It is like…

Stuffing ourselves inside a baby crib when we are 10 times bigger than a 5-year-old child....

So,

I have decided that being alone is the best answer to being my true self…

I don't have to play pretend...

I don't have to act interested when my heart is totally out of it...

Because I know that no matter how good I act...

Someone will sense that I am truly uninterested...

Some people aren't fool no matter how you tried to play 'dumb'.

So the best is to move away...

And keep to yourself...

Learn that being alone is not loneliness...

It is also not unfriendliness...

But it is a privilege to be who we are and thoroughly enjoy our inner peace...

That's why I never complain when I am always alone...

Because I learn to enjoy my peace...

I learn to find my inner soul and 'communicate with it'.

And that's the real sense of being alone...

When words can hurt...

"Do NOT let any unwholesome talk comes out of your mouth but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs; that may benefit to those who listens.” – Ephesian 4:28

Have you ever criticise people before?

So much so you can find thousands of faults in them...

That you can literally laugh your head off…

As human nature, we love to find fault with others...

I was being labelled and teased during my school days…

People called me names like ‘skinny’, ‘ugly’, ‘stupid’, ‘miss impossible’ and etc.

So much so I have no friends for the first 3 years of my schooling days…

When I was 9 years, I finally had one true friend that stuck by me endlessly.

But she died of cancer when we transited to high school at the age of 13…

After that, I was without a friend again during my teenage years.

I was again being labelled for all the insults threw at my face…

Each time I tried to be nice and friendly,

I was cast out…

That’s when I begin to find solitude a friend…

Words hurt….

It strikes me how people be so mean to one another…

That they can say hurtful things that doesn’t mean anything to them…

But it means the world to those who listened and moan over it…

When I come across the bible verse of Ephesians 4:28 that said 

“Do not let any unwholesome talk comes out of your mouth…”

I realised that that is what we all needed... 
To keep our words in tact!

For the past few years,

I was there and done that…

I threw plenty of unwholesome talks around.

So much so, people started to walk out of me…

I lost a brilliant friendship,

I lost all the wonderful memories that will brighten up my future…

I lost everything…

Because of all the unwholesome talks that come out of my mouth…

Honestly,

Nobody wants to know how terrible they are,

Even if it is the truth…

Because nobody need words that keep pulling them down all the time...

Instead, 

We all need empathy in life…

And so does everyone else in this world…

Because we don’t know what others are going thru…

And nobody knows what we are going thru…

They may seems to have everything you think they need…

And they think we might seems to have everything we need…

But there are lots of things that they don’t tell you about themselves…

And we also don’t tell them everything about ourselves….

They may have struggled all throughout the years…

Which nobody knows what it is…

And we also struggled so much over the years that we tell nobody about it…

Yet, we treated each other as if they have the perfect world…
And vice versa...

When the world is hardly ever perfect...

Life is a huge struggle…

All of us go thru it….

Even multi-millionaires go thru it just so to be rich…

Even Jesus Christ has to bear the pain for our sake by being condemned on the cross…

And still do until today…

Yet, we continue to let unwholesome talks fly out of the mouth…

Because we thought it is just right…

The truth is…

You lose more than you gain…

Have you heard of the saying…

“What comes round, goes round…”

That is true…

When we gossip about others…

People will gossip about us in return…

When we condemn others,

People will condemn us as well…

If we lie to them,

We will be lied in return…

But if you do good to people…

Even if someone tend to hurt you for your goodness,

You will be surprised to know that those who cherish you will naturally stands up for you…

So it is the same with words…

If you compliment others… (with the truth, of course!)

They will naturally do the same to you as well…

Of course,

In some culture,

It is a challenge to have people saying positive things about you... 
because it is a taboo to do as that…

But God has taught us that it is wiser to avoid unwholesome talk…

Unwholesome talk include things that are not true even if it sounds positive to the ears…

Everybody needs to hear the truth – YES!

And most people will not hesitant to tell the truth…

And they did it real good with lots of negativity….

And that’s exactly why relationships are broken…

Because negative words hurt…

It is very similar to being insulted, labelled and name-calling…

And that’s what people detested most!

Honestly,

Nobody, not even the worst person in this world, deserves that…

Each and everyone of us need a sense of sympathy…
We all want some kindness and gentleness in our life…

We are want to be loved and cared for…

Therefore,

Be careful with your tongue…

Be mindful with your words…

It may take some brain-work to produce excellent conversation…

But better a positive statement than a foul connection…

As for me…

The littler I said,

The sweeter but truthful it is,

The safer it is…

If you really and truly unable to gurgle a good statement,

The only solution is to remain speechless…

Based on my recent experience and observation.

A speechless man gains more friends than gossipers…

Although he doesn't mean anything about his silent...
And has no intention to gain any attention for himself…

He maintains a great sense of peace and quiet…
He brings comfort to those who need tranquillity to of the moment...

That's what I like...

And that's what I want...

Peace and quiet…

Friendship and love…

As sweet as buttercup…

Do not worry

Worry...

Everyday there is always something that causes us to worry.
It can be a simple thing such as...
What shall we wear for the day to what shall I do during crisis?

But why worry tho?

Look at the flowers in the garden...
Do they worry if the sun ever going to shine on them again tomorrow?
Or do they ever worry if there is rain or someone to water them?

No, they don’t...
Yet they can still dance freely in the park as if tomorrow never come...
Because they know that our Heavenly Father will take care of them...

So why are we worrying over little things that doesn’t mean anything in the end?
Life is extremely short...
We worried too much till our backache...

What’s the point of earning so much money when we ended up spending it on medical bills because we were trying hard to be rich?
Does money means so much till you are more than willing to sacrifice your health for it?
Does money means the world to you that you are willing to forgo your relationship?

If money means the world to you...
Then you better be careful not to turn it into an idol...
For money is the root of all evil...
Because of money,
We lost ourselves...
We lost true friendship and dignity...

Remember,
money can buy a house but not a home.
It can buy companionship but not true friendships,
It can buy you a bed but not sleep.
It can buy you a clock but not time...

Is that what you want in life?

I don’t want that at all...
I rather be happy with just a wee bit of things and be thankful for all the best things that money can’t buy...
I rather have lots of hugs and kisses than many friends who can’t even understand a word I said...
I rather have sweet dreams than a canopy bed that gives me nightmares every night...
I rather have a home than a house that is completely meaningless...

Honestly,
We just need enough to have a roof above our head and some good healthy food on the table.
Honestly, that’s all it is to live happily ever after..

Yet,
We feel so insufficient...
We want more...
So much more that we start to worry about what we cannot obtain...
So greed has caused us to worry...

All the ‘what if’ becomes part of who we are...
We are being controlled without realising it..

But God just smile and said...
“If only you pay attention to the nature that I’ve created long before your forefather,
They don’t worry a thing of what to eat and what to wear nor where to go...
I have taken care of them through the days of their life...
It’s the same for you as well...
I have taken care of all your needs before your arrival...
There is nothing missing in your life to meet your needs...
Except, you greed more than you need...
Even the birds in the air knows that it has food to eat the next day,
What more you, who is more precious than the birds above you?’

Does it make sense now that you do not have to worry about tomorrow?
For that tomorrow will worry itself?
Each day already has its own problem to deal with it... (Matt 6:34)
So why are you worrying about with tomorrow when today already have more than enough for you to go insane?

Just give yourself a break...
Take a deep breath...
Count to 10...
And then move on by trusting God to help you out...
Things will get better with time...

Walk by faith...

.... and not by sight... 2 Corinthians 5:7


Be brave....

Be strong...

Nothing is easy...

But you still need to move forward...


It's OK to be laughed at... because they don't know you or what you can do until they saw miracle befallen on you.

People laughed at Noah when he built an ark during the dry-est season calling him a 'fool'. But when flood washed the whole earth away; he, his family and all the animals that he saved were the only one left standing.


If you have to do something different from others and to be called a 'fool/ weirdo'; then let that be it.

'Fool/ Weirdo' were the ones that discovered brilliant ideas like solar aeroplane, solar panel, wind turbine and dam for electricity.
'Fool/ Weirdo' were the ones that researched on non biodegradable plastic transformed into roads and furniture.
'Fool/ Weirdo' were the ones that uses simple and harmless natural resources to reduce environmental impact for our future generations.

'Fool/ Weirdo-s' are those who walk by faith and not by sight. They believe in being different and making a difference in someone's life. They don't listen to nay-sayer. They listen to God whom open doors to miracles before them.

It is not just about buildings and environmental impact. It is also about personal life.


We lost friends whom don't understand our strange 'ideas' and behaviour. We have been turned down all the time because we were deemed 'foolish'. We go thru heartbreak and broken trust because nobody has faith in us.

But that's fine... We don't rely on them to move forward; because they, too, have their own journey to go to. Maybe, at some point, we also have very minimum faith in them, too. So we cannot pursue others to believe in us until we believe in ourselves and others.

Those who stick by us will help us out. But even if they don't support us - we still have one more person to do as that - the Most Highest...


So, be courageous and strong...

Every steps toward success hurts... 

But once you get thru it, nothing will dim your Spirit from faith anymore...

Just keep walking....
Keep praying....
Keep seeking...

You will get there in due-time...

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NIV)
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love....

Starting anew

Everyday is a brand new day...

Wake up with a thanksgiving heart...

Be deeply embedded in prayer.

Life will be so much better...

When we make mistakes,
Take a deep breath and do our best to correct it.

No one is ever perfect.
As long as we repent and learn to right the wrong...

It's alright...
Just move forward...

Time will heal...
You will be fine...

When it happens… What will you do?

When unfortunate things happened,

Believe that it will get better with time…

As long as you find the right way to solve it…

When someone takes away your things that you claim it is yours,

Let it go even if it takes you years to get it back,

When you die, you won’t it need after all…

When someone/ something breaks your heart which is very painful for you to hold it back,

Cry it all out even if you feel embarrassed to show your crying face…

Everyone cried before and all for their own personal reasons of heart-ache…

When you are sick and couldn't stand up…

Lie down and rest…

Surely, you will feel a lot better than standing up and acting like a super-hero…

When someone did something good to you…

Give thanks and bless him with all your heart…

He must have come a long way to serve you like a royalty.

When someone ill-treated you,

Just tell him off gently of how you feel toward his behaviour.

He may or may not realised what he has done…

But when you tell him the truth,

He will learn where he really stands at the end of the consequence.

When someone / something drives you crazy,

Be still and take a very deep breath…

If you must get away from it; then go ahead…

But be sure to come back afterwards and solve it properly…

All problems are solvable...

If it doesn't solve, then it is definitely not the end…

But even then, please don’t be so particular with the decision until the root of the problem grows to an extension of your entire life!

When you love someone so much so deeply that they can hurt you ‘till the end of your life…

You know that there is no turning back to hate them…

Because if you do, you shouldn't have love them so much ‘till now…

You should have walked away and keep the love to yourself…

But no, you can’t…

You are, after all, born to love others with all your heart and soul…

Including those who destine to hurt you forever…

“Grab the opportunities as you go…”

This was one of the best suggestions my mentor gave during our meet…

Not knowing which direction aim after completing a degree…

I feel a bit hesitant…

Many people support me to go for Masters…

But there are other subjects to aim for Masters…

I know I need a goal to aim for one path… one direction…

My mentor said,

“If you only aim for one thing…

And closes all opportunities given to you…

What happen when you grow old?

Will you regret not having a second chance of grabbing the opportunities that will enhance your life in future?”

I paused and asked,

“Then what am I supposed to do?

If there isn’t any goal ahead,

I will lose focus…

Then I won’t be able to do well for my degree…”

He looked at me thoughtfully,

“You will be able to do well in all things regardless to the circumstance…

Take one step at a time…

Don’t put your mind onto one goal and close all doors…

You will never know when you can actually shine further than your imagination!

Maybe you feel you won’t be able to do well…

But who know,

You will end up surprising yourself more than anyone else…

“I suggest that you put a shorter aim and master that;

And then slowly move to another plan for another stage…

From there, you are able to enjoy every single moment along the way…

And not blind by one result at the end of the entire process…

But to grasp the full experiences as a whole!”

I smiled and said…

“I have more plans than just studying…

Although I aim to put my study as my first priority…

But there is one thing that I will never ever forget…

I hope I can enhance it while studying…

“Oh, I know I can…

That’s what I love…

And that’s what I should do…

And that will let me look back during my old age and said…

‘University life is my most unforgettable moment because I experience all opportunities like no others!’

And that’s where I grab all the opportunities as I go…”

There goes my aim…

Let’s see if I can do it…